It is that time of the year again when anxious students and  even more anxious parents wait  
with baited breath for the 10th n 12th results.
But, what really intriguin' is that we have jubilant students relishing the fruits of their toil n hardwork, sharing the same print space with the unfortunate  reports of disappointed students takin' their own lives.We all rejoice with the students comin' out wid flyin' colors , but has anybody bothered to think twice as to why the number of such suicides is on the rise.Apart from soceital n parental pressure,the faulty education system is'nt less responsible either. The educationists feel a three  hour examination is enough to judge a student.I wonder as to whether it is fair enough to evaluate a student's calibre in just hundred n eigthy minutes wherein his year long hardwork n innumerable sacrifices are rendered useless .And whom do we have entrusted with the onus of judgin' these students ! Those teachers ,who were once   the most revered lot and now their very credibility can be put to question.The teachers without realising what importance these  board exams have in the lives of today's youngsters ,mercilessly n unhesisantly play with innocent lives.Is'nt it high time ,today's teachers realised their duties n responsibilities of bringin' back the lost honour n credibility of the worthy Gurus of the olden days???

               dEaTh tHe f!nIsHiN' L!ne !
I am twenty one and believe me I am heading towards the finishing line.We all are in the race to reach that line.Starting from a new born baby to an Octogenarian , all of us are heading towards that line.Some of us crawl , the vast majority  just walk , some walk briskly , quite a few run and still some run fast , unconcerned , but to reach that line.But then we can choose the pace.Death is standing as ever to embrace each one of us , though differently, when we reach that line, the line of Bermuda Triangles.We all have an appointment with it. With good habits we can delay the day of our appointment and with bad ones we just  hasten the meeting.The choice is perhaps ours.The time available to us between birth and the finishing line is at our disposal .By good deeds we can live in death , live in the hearts of successive generations of people beyond the finishing line.It is really possible.Many great persons from diverse societies,different faiths and geographical lines have done this.Hats off to those who have achieved this feat.Pals let more of us vow to beat the finishing line and make our lives memorable .

P.S :- Inspired by ma Dad's thoughts

"The grass is always greener on the other side" ????

well whoever said that the grass is always greener on the other side could have reconsidered his statement and probably could have said the grass is always greener on the other time.....what say ?? :P

yeah!!....why not ??....just a li'l bit of introspection an' m sure almost all  of u gonna swear on that.
Dun we alwayz crib 'bout how good our past was...what a fabulous  childhood we had... how amazing our school dayz were....n ..n the list juss goes on n on.Well atleast fo' me 'the grass' has alwayz been greener on the other 'time'....lolzzz
when i was a toddler all i would do day long was imitate mom n dad....try dressin' up like 'em...try their footwear ....n gosh! what not :P....then i grew up a li'l stepped outta my home, went to school.....n felt like the teachers in my school were the best eva creations o' God  n fantasised  bein' like 'em :D...then i grew up a li'l more n got burdened with the ever increasin' studies n felt like bein' a kid was the best :(.....n then when i stepped into my college life started feelin' that good ol' school life was the best......but now at this point all i wish is that neva again would i find the grass greener on the 'other time'........an' would find the grass on my side the 'greenest' of all :D

.....umm .......one of the things i do most often is juss sit n wonder...........who m i ??.........wot m i ??....... God  surely created me with some purpose in mind.......n well.....left it fo' me to find out what the purpose was.........d difficult part fo'  me.......not fair........lol ( but ab iski complain leke kahaan jaun :P )

m restless......m crazy........m wierd..........m i inching towards insanity??.......lol.........naah! certainly not .........i m juss plain confused ........need some answers........need some assurances.......need some affirmations :)

But m i realising my true worth ??.......m i living up to the purpose ??........m i not merely  existing.........but i want to LIVE .......n live life to d fullest

Never got the answer.......as to why do these turmoils occur within me.......n is it just me ??

beauty is incomparable, immeasureable..... beheld with reverence in d eyes of d beholder..... to me she's d most beautiful woman i've ever met..... beheld her beauty within me ever since i was a tiny zygote..... the first nine months.... i dunno wot it was for her.... i dunno wot it was like wen she held her first born in her arms.... i dunno wat it was for her wen she tried taming d ever naughty, ever insolent me.... i dunno wot it costs her to love me wen i scream at her.... i dunno wot she felt on every b'day of mine seein me grow a year older..... i dunno the loneliness she felt wen i left home n came to coll.... i dunno wot she feels wen i'm ill or wen i refuse to eat... i dunno how could she ever love such a mean insensitive daughter like me... i dunno.... n i can't.... cos i am not a mother..... i just know this.... n i'd like to confess my feelings for her from the depths of my heart.... mom, wot u are to me is jus a 6 letter word.... MOTHER.... MAMA I LOVE U..... I LOVE U SO MUCH....  

if only our lives were like videos.....the forward and  rewind buttons being in our hands.......i would have had deleted some episodes, forwarded many and would have loved to have some episodes play  again and again.....i wonder  why can't we have the reigns of our lives in our  hands.....if we are "strong" enough to endure failures with elan and come out of them victorious.......then  why can't we be trusted of deciding our lives for ourselves.....?????
They say  "failures are the pillars of success".....but why at all do we need to have failures..... the ultimate destination is always success so why can't we have success all the way????
I hope HE is listening......and is ready with HIS answers.

The other day i dreamt of a "disco".....amazingly strange for me...not just because i don't usually dream ( yeah! true  seldom do i dream....albeit i am into day dreaming big time....lol) but because it  was a disco ....a disco!?! :O......now coming back to  my dream.....it really scared the hell outta me.... found it weird eh ?!?...... but man trust me ....it was spooky to say the least....and before you start scratching your heads as to how can a disco frighten somebody like this...lemme tell you ,that it was'nt the usual disco with the Dj,the neon lights , and a crazy  crowd going berserk over the deafening music.....naaah!! it was'nt anything even remotely close to it......had it been that ,i would surely have danced all my way to the dance floor happily ...lol........alas!! this was a far cry from the regular disco's.......precisely 'coz it had the priviledge of having all the who's who of my college........right from all our senior faculty members, the college management folks, and even my favourite favourite teacher (arghhhh!! ...hell !! why did he hafta be there ) :((((.....and as if all this was not enough .........whom do i have now???.....our H.O.D....gosh!! the same person whose mere mention can send shivers down the spines of anybody who has had the priviledge of having seen him  just once .....and just  when i thought  it could'nt  get  worse than this.......surprise surprise!!.. what do i see ...the H.O.D is staring down right at me in the fiercest possible manner ( ahhh!!  does he need to do that??.... when just his presence was  more than enough to make my heart beat at supersonic speed and could have given the ferraris a run for their money :P).....all of them with their verbal weaponry and  God knows what other weapons......ready to grill me .....the reason ??.....0% attendance in two...(or was it three :P ) subjects.....0% attendance!! ....sounds incredible eh!!.....but i did manage this feat quite, quite easily.....lol.....and just when the H.O.D was about to begin .....given the dumb dodo i am .....habituated with doing all the wrong things at the right times :D..... i looked up....and could'nt help but look at Amit Sir.....my favourite teacher i just mentioned about ( and you guessed it absolutely right...did'nt miss any of his classes,not  even a single one).....awww!! he's chooooo chweeeeeet .....  gave  him an impish smile  :P.......and then  suddenly there's a shower of chilled water.....i look up........and what do i see???.....my roomate yelling out aloud  ...."it's 8.30  already.... c'mon wake up!!"....i hurriedly got up forgetting all about Amit sir.....only to realise i missed his class......damn!!!.....for the first time i missed his class ...was feeling  horrible.....but all's not lost, is what i thought to myself and got ready for his next class since he had two classes on that day :)))))) and i reach ed the class dot on time ......."happys endings"....lol
now lemme clear the air about the "disco" thing lest you keep pondering ,what has that got to do with all this.....disco's an acronym for "Disciplinary Committee":D......F.P.S hangover for sure ....lol
Three cheers to Chetan Bhagat!!!!!

Main aisi  kyun hun ......main aisi kyun hun???.....God...i wonder what mood was HE in when he scripted my life .....hmmm  was in a terrible mood i suppose or had a fight with someone i guess.....lol....naaaah! how can HE get affected by such mundane stuff....so....so.....what was it??....what was it that made Him falter.... have been bothered by this question from the past 20 years .....all i wish is someone comes up with a solution real fast :D
Till then i'll have to bear with my neurons getting all worked up in trying to find the real cause .......

                      "i wanna....
                     
                     i wanna be the boundless wave
                     in search of a shore....
                     i wanna be the moment that remains
                     frozen even when centuries have winged away....
                     i wanna be the enigma
                     that defies any solution.....
                     i wanna be the message that remains etched
                     on the ashes even if the script is put aflame....."
                    

"Be|nG hApPy d0eS'nT mEaN tHaT eVeRyTh|nG iS pUrRfEcT

|t mEaNS tHaT y0u hAvE dEc|dEd t0 lo0k b'Y0nd |mPuRrFe(t|0ns"

bEfo sTaRtIn oUt wUd lOvE t0 sAy sUmtHinG 'bOut m0i
....ummm .... wElL m  vErRy stRa|gHtf0rwArD (nEvA eVa mInCe mA wOrDs).......|mPuLs|\/e (jUsS rElY oN mA iNsTiNcTs)..... a li'L(?)  m0oDy ...........hAvE s0mE(?)  iRr|tAtiN  hAb|tS  ( aaaah!! cAn sEe mA r0om|es sm|l|n n0w ;) ).......a bRaT  ( m0m sAyZ s0 ....u dUn  rIlLy hAftA b'LiVe hEr:P)......... uNpReDiCtAbLe (mA m0od sWiNgS r D  oNlY pReDiCtAbLe tH|nG 'b0ut mE)...........sHoRt tEmPeReD(  aGa|n mA r0oM|es w|lL v0uCh f0' dAt ).....iNtRovErT(wElL aCtUaLly lu\/ bEin' iN mA oWn sHeLl..| rilLy  nJoi mA c0mPaNy)....a tRuE nArCiSs|CiSt :D......... vErRrY p0sSeS|vE 'b0uT cErTa|n th|nGs(i gUeSs iTz bETtA n0t t0 d|vUlgE 'eM hEre)........n ......n ........n......vErRry lAzY(mA fReNdZ sAy s0....bUt i gUeSs m n0t dAt lAzY eItHeR....dIs pIeCe iS a pR0of o\/ dAt)........n...... c0nFuSi0n'S lYk mA sEc0nD nAmE ....iT tRuElY  rUlEs mA lYf.....cAn c0nFuSe y0u w|d mA c0nFuSinG c0nFus|ons...lolZzz
................n aFtA alL d0sE c0nFuS|oNs  o0opsSs!! c0nFeSs|oNs :D..........| cAn sAfElY cLa|m t0 b qU|Te  ......qUiTe h0nEsT ...... kYun!?!?!? ;)
......m riLly eNtHuSiAsTiC 'b0uT lYf...... n jUz lu\/ mA lYf......... iTz n0t lYk iTz  bEeN sMo0tH sAiL|n aLl d wAy bUt sTiLl  rEsPe(t lYf n tAkE iT aS iT cUmS........hA\/e A la|d bAcK aTtItUdE ..........bUt m qUiTe aWaRe oV
 mA rEsPoNs|bil|TiEs..... n nEvA sHy aWaY fr0m 'eM.......... 'i M WoT | M'....... s0uNdS cLi(hEd bUt dAtZ rEaLly tRuE....w0t u sEe |s w0t U gEt..... cAn'T iMaGiNe l0s|nG mA |dEnt|TY f0' nEtH|nG iN d wH0lE dAmN w0rLd ........jUsS hAtE nAgGeRs lYk hElL.......n cAn'T sTaNd pEoPlE iNtRuDiN mA sPa(e.........hAtE wAit|nG.........n.......hAte pReTeNs|onS....... hAtE bEiN sInCeRe, pUnCtUal bLah bLah bLah....pUrE sHiT :P..........hAtE d rAiNs......(yEah!!  i hAtE 'eM........bUT  i  sTiLl m A h0pEleSs r0mAnT|c....sTrAnGe eH??).....yEaH!! wEiRd mE[:d] .......phEeEeW!!  .....eNuFf 0v w0t i hAte
  n aLl oV y0u wHo cAn't wAiT fo' m0rE :D... ...pUhLeEeZ  b  a  li'L pAtIeNt t|lL mA b|oGrApHy h|tZ d sTanDz  ;)
             
         
                            

Was the month of june, and the  summer vacations were just  about to come to an  end.....and when good things are about to end time seems to just fly off....lol  I just kept wishing that somehow my holidays get extended and i don't have to get back to the same old boring,hectic school days .....given the lazy and insincere kid i was (?) i still m :P (though have realised  now that those were the most beautiful days of my life ) .......and then  surprise surprise !! dad broke the news of  his plans of a short vacation in Darzeeling.....it was like ....like....ummm  don't have words :P.......i was exulted to say the least , at just  the mention of the idea.my heart started pacing faster........could'nt control my thoughts .......and was excited like anything.......but then when i thought of it again......Darzeeling??.........a hillstation......ahhh!! would be like all the other hillstowns i've been to.....dunno somehow find all of them alike.......like someone cloned 'em :P........but anyways  the thought of visiting another new place was a feeling more precious than the random thoughts and apprehensions i had about visiting a hillstation again......and  on top of that i won't have to bear that burdenous feeling of time flyin off....and my holidays coming to an end......so i thought Darzeeling was the best thing that could have  ever happened to me at that point of time :)

so finally we...me ,mom n dad arrived at Siliguri the place  from which we took a bus to Darzeeling......i insisted on a bus journey......that's the best way to enjoy the hilly terrain.....the meandering roads snaking their ways,crisscrossing rivers.....and  in this case you can't miss out on the occassional encounters with the toy train on the way.i was enjoyin each moment......and the excitement kept growing as we were inching towards dzlng.......i had already started planning what we all would be doing once we reach there......but as luck would have it or rather rain god would have it it started to rain heavily.......torrential rains ......the likes which i had not witnessed in years......and the rains did manage to dampen my spirits i thought now how am i gonna roam around and shop and hop n jump in streets of dzlng :(.....i looked at my dad with an ex-pression which he easily read......and said....."look everyone visits hilltowns either in the peak of summer or in the winters to witness the snowfalls......but have you ever wondered what it feels like to visit a hillstation  during the rains".....now this did uplift my mood to an extent....but i was still sulking......on the verge of crying.......then the bus finally screeched to a halt and we reached dzlg.........the downpour still continued......i looked around to find other tourists like us......some of 'em looked a li'l disappointed ....and then i caught glimpses of some of the some of the locals who had such warm smiles on their faces .........seeing which my heart started racing again......and really felt welcomed by the place......the energy , the vibes the dzlg people sent across was incredible......yeah!! stepping on the grounds of dzlg i started feeling better and forgot all my apprehensions of our trip bein' ruined.......and it did'nt take me long to instantly fall in love with the place and the lovely and ever gregarious people.

Darzeeling in rains was truly amazing!!!!